And itty bitty will be Sleeping Beauty. She and daddy are out picking up some last minute pumpkins. (Have I mentioned the hectic week around here?) As of last night, I thought she was not goign to be able to go trick-or-treating, she was feeling so poorly... but she perked right up this morning. This is Daddy's first year to go trick-or-treating, what with deployments and retail job hours, he has never been home. He's pretty much excited to death.
We had our kitties in for their spay and declaw. Black kitty is apparently allergic to opium, so she is having a pretty slow recovery, since that is the pain med they used. It is hard to see her stumble and fall with her lack of coordination as she recovers.
Andy wants a dog. He comes from a family that believes in purebreds, so we are not talkign the $50 I thought to get on from the pound, but he wants a specific breed - bernese mountain dog - that run in the range of $1000. Seriously! Egads. What a dog snob he is!! :)
I want another baby, tho, which costs way more than that in the first few months, so.. maybe a trade. :) I think he might just be up for it.
October 31, 2009
October 29, 2009
October 26, 2009
Not Me Monday
I did not forget the vet apoointment.
I did not polish off the chinese food.
I did not leave the dishes for my husband.
I did not eat a chocolate chip cookie with unfettered joy this afternoon.
I did not blow off a party to sit with a bummed-out friend all day on Saturday
I did not drink 2 sodas today.
I did not throw out the rotton vegetables my daughter picked at the farm then refused to eat or refrigerate.
I am not currently ogling the last soda that I know I should save for my husband.
Nope, not me. :)
I did not polish off the chinese food.
I did not leave the dishes for my husband.
I did not eat a chocolate chip cookie with unfettered joy this afternoon.
I did not blow off a party to sit with a bummed-out friend all day on Saturday
I did not drink 2 sodas today.
I did not throw out the rotton vegetables my daughter picked at the farm then refused to eat or refrigerate.
I am not currently ogling the last soda that I know I should save for my husband.
Nope, not me. :)
True lasting love
I have been with my husband for the better part of 8 years now. We have a 5 year old daughter, and an almost one year old marriage. (I know, but we have a no-judgement rule around here).
I have really and truly fallen in love with him in a way I did not know existed in the last few months. Something in him changed as we said our vows. (Don't hold out hope ladies, I don't think that actually happens all that often). I was not sure until I walked into the church. I was not sure all through the process of planning. I was not sure as we fought over who would be in the wedding (not at all still aggravated over the ex-girlfriend-who-had-to-be-a-groomsman at all. Instead of asking her to stand with the girls so my brothers could be in the wedding). I still wasn't sure that very morning. But then, the photographer had Andy come down the hall and had me step out so he could photograph the first time we saw each other that morning (as if the the 5:30 AM haircut I gave him that morning did not count -haha - ok, it didn't).
Then I was sure.
As we laugh over my not-so-subtle hints about a baby, and he makes not-so-subtle hints about a dog instead, I fall in love with my husband a little more. As he opens up aspects of his life that were once area "I intruded in" willingly and lovingly, I fall in love a little more. As I grow in my realization that no marriage is perfect, but mine is pretty damn close, I fall in love a little bit more.
I am so sure in a way I never was before.
I love my husband.
I have really and truly fallen in love with him in a way I did not know existed in the last few months. Something in him changed as we said our vows. (Don't hold out hope ladies, I don't think that actually happens all that often). I was not sure until I walked into the church. I was not sure all through the process of planning. I was not sure as we fought over who would be in the wedding (not at all still aggravated over the ex-girlfriend-who-had-to-be-a-groomsman at all. Instead of asking her to stand with the girls so my brothers could be in the wedding). I still wasn't sure that very morning. But then, the photographer had Andy come down the hall and had me step out so he could photograph the first time we saw each other that morning (as if the the 5:30 AM haircut I gave him that morning did not count -haha - ok, it didn't).
Then I was sure.
As we laugh over my not-so-subtle hints about a baby, and he makes not-so-subtle hints about a dog instead, I fall in love with my husband a little more. As he opens up aspects of his life that were once area "I intruded in" willingly and lovingly, I fall in love a little more. As I grow in my realization that no marriage is perfect, but mine is pretty damn close, I fall in love a little bit more.
I am so sure in a way I never was before.
I love my husband.
October 25, 2009
The house
One year ago this week, we moved into our new house. The search was rather sudden, the success quick and easy. The house itself, a disaster. Black carpet (that upon removal turned out to have once been white -EWW). Cracks and holes in the walls. Rotten cabinets in the kitchen. Missing/broken fixtures. Crazy silver paint in the weirdest places - like the grout on the fireplace hearth tiles.
Moving week was insane - one day I noticed my engagement ring was not on my finger - I had the plumber in to vacuum the drains, we tossed the house, we finally unpacked the already packed boxes and found it had slipped of my finger! Thanks heavens we found it...
My in-laws showed up one day to help. Did I mention I did not know they were coming? Their son was not even home; one of his brothers decided to "return" all the loaner furniture that had once been Andy's on the same day. Really? In the middle of an impromptu moving day? Without asking? We had planned to hire movers - my vision had been of movers placing carefully packed boxes in the correct rooms. Instead, contrary to repeated requests, things were tossed haphardly into unlabeled boxed (not by me), and stacked wherever (also, not me). My husband still has not found his Army ring and his watches.
Do I sound ungrateful for the help? I am not. It is just that sometimes help is not actually helpful unless it is what the helpee asks the helper to do. Just food for thought.
Back to the house...
We started joyfully to paint our daughters room, which we had dreamed of for so long, and planned so carefully, only to have my MIL have a breakdown and guilt her son into coming over to her house instead because, well, you have to know my MIL. Just because. Which he did. I almost moved right back out that night.
But, the moving in progressed. Before we took residence, we had a break-in - loss included a DVD player (and the enclosed Ariel movie - crisis!) and my laser level. I have an almost man-like affection for my tools and a sentimental attachment that is distinctly girlie, based on the giver of the gift of each tool... so as disturbing as the violation of the sanctity of my new home was, the girl and I still have angst over our loss...
As the days turned into weeks, and we finally locked the door on our rental for the last time, we moved into our freshly-carpeted, professionally cleaned, mishmashed baxes stacked everywhere, and began the rest of our lives together...
Then the pipes in the laundry burst... story for another day. :)
Moving week was insane - one day I noticed my engagement ring was not on my finger - I had the plumber in to vacuum the drains, we tossed the house, we finally unpacked the already packed boxes and found it had slipped of my finger! Thanks heavens we found it...
My in-laws showed up one day to help. Did I mention I did not know they were coming? Their son was not even home; one of his brothers decided to "return" all the loaner furniture that had once been Andy's on the same day. Really? In the middle of an impromptu moving day? Without asking? We had planned to hire movers - my vision had been of movers placing carefully packed boxes in the correct rooms. Instead, contrary to repeated requests, things were tossed haphardly into unlabeled boxed (not by me), and stacked wherever (also, not me). My husband still has not found his Army ring and his watches.
Do I sound ungrateful for the help? I am not. It is just that sometimes help is not actually helpful unless it is what the helpee asks the helper to do. Just food for thought.
Back to the house...
We started joyfully to paint our daughters room, which we had dreamed of for so long, and planned so carefully, only to have my MIL have a breakdown and guilt her son into coming over to her house instead because, well, you have to know my MIL. Just because. Which he did. I almost moved right back out that night.
But, the moving in progressed. Before we took residence, we had a break-in - loss included a DVD player (and the enclosed Ariel movie - crisis!) and my laser level. I have an almost man-like affection for my tools and a sentimental attachment that is distinctly girlie, based on the giver of the gift of each tool... so as disturbing as the violation of the sanctity of my new home was, the girl and I still have angst over our loss...
As the days turned into weeks, and we finally locked the door on our rental for the last time, we moved into our freshly-carpeted, professionally cleaned, mishmashed baxes stacked everywhere, and began the rest of our lives together...
Then the pipes in the laundry burst... story for another day. :)
October 20, 2009
the chef
Am feeling kinda Alton Brownish. Made grilled artichokes with homemade roasted garlic mayonnaise and steak fajitas. I brined my artichokes as directed, and man were they tasty! Dad and the girl chowed down - good thing I made a double batch!
October 19, 2009
feeling melancholy
I am feeling melancholy, so lets get that right out of the way. I moved from home because the sibling rivalry in my home was ridiculous. My older bother and I fought like cats and dogs for most of my childhood; but as soon as we were no longer under the same roof, we started to get along fantastically. My younger brother and I always got along OK - we have pretty different personalities - he is so athletic and I am kinda bookish, he was Prom King - I didn't even go... but he is so laid back that he is easy to get along with - he is the peacemaker. My sister, on the other hand, lets just say Glenda and WWof the West got along better. Most recently she tried to ruin my wedding, but that is a story that is neither here nor there today. But, the nasty version of sibling rivalry I suffered at her hands for most of my young adulthood pushing me close to the edge of my sanity and my ability to forgive, and frankly, the edge of my ability to not hurt back... one of us had to go, and being the big sis and not the mama's baby that my 30 year old sister still is and not being at all bitter (haha, but at least seeing it in myself is the first step, right?), I went as far from home as quickly as humanly possible. But, sometimes I know I went too far away, and married a man who feels firmly rooted here. Here where I do not want to be. I am inconveniently far from everyone, and as my nephews have grown from 5 and 3 to 17 and 15 since I moved here, and new babies continue to be born, I need to be there. There is nothing for me here. There is a good job and a nice home, but those can be found again. I have wonderful friends, but have spent my whole life in long-distance friendships and making new, nearby ones. My husband's family is distant at best, even as they are close by physically, all of them spending more than my lifetime here, and definitely not needing me as I need them - one sided relationships don't work so well. As long as my husband and child come too, I could be packed and out the door tonight.
I know something in me is broken and I do not know how to fix it. I know that holding onto these feelings is not healthy. My wedding was the last straw with my sister, my mother doesn't see it - or at least refuses to acknowledge it (although my brother acknowledged the problem, at least at my rehearsal dinner), my brothers both have new babies I am desperate to meet, I am jealous of the closeness of others with their families.
I always say or do just the right thing to push others away, and even though I try so hard, I just am socially needy, awkward and insecure.
I know all these things will get better with prayer. And intense therapy...
UPDATE: ACTUALLY SHARED MY THOUGHTS WITH THE SIS. HAD A TEARFEST. MADE A PLAN TO TRY TO BOND. HOPE SHE MEANS IT, BECAUSE I DO
Sigh. Ok. Back on track, pity party is over...
Things to be grateful for today:
The twins are in NICU, but with a little luck and prayer, should be able to go home with mama and daddy tomorrow.
I do actually like my job and the people I work with.
My daughter is beginning to read.
My niece and her family are finally healthy and back into the world today.
My husband has been offered a good job that he wasn't even looking for.
I no longer have black roots and blonde ends (sometimes it is the little things, you know?)
I know something in me is broken and I do not know how to fix it. I know that holding onto these feelings is not healthy. My wedding was the last straw with my sister, my mother doesn't see it - or at least refuses to acknowledge it (although my brother acknowledged the problem, at least at my rehearsal dinner), my brothers both have new babies I am desperate to meet, I am jealous of the closeness of others with their families.
I always say or do just the right thing to push others away, and even though I try so hard, I just am socially needy, awkward and insecure.
I know all these things will get better with prayer. And intense therapy...
UPDATE: ACTUALLY SHARED MY THOUGHTS WITH THE SIS. HAD A TEARFEST. MADE A PLAN TO TRY TO BOND. HOPE SHE MEANS IT, BECAUSE I DO
Sigh. Ok. Back on track, pity party is over...
Things to be grateful for today:
The twins are in NICU, but with a little luck and prayer, should be able to go home with mama and daddy tomorrow.
I do actually like my job and the people I work with.
My daughter is beginning to read.
My niece and her family are finally healthy and back into the world today.
My husband has been offered a good job that he wasn't even looking for.
I no longer have black roots and blonde ends (sometimes it is the little things, you know?)
October 7, 2009
Today's gratitude
My husband
-appreciates every meal I cook for him
-and makes sure I know it.
-takes care of all the yard chores
-and doesn't make me feel bad about it.
-loves our daughter to pieces
-and makes sure she knows it.
-appreciates every meal I cook for him
-and makes sure I know it.
-takes care of all the yard chores
-and doesn't make me feel bad about it.
-loves our daughter to pieces
-and makes sure she knows it.
October 6, 2009
Gratitude
Feeling the need to start a new blog (again). I go through these swings where I blog, then delete, then I blog...Facebook kinda became it for a while...
So, here we go again
- a husband who thinks I am beautiful through the weight loss, gain, loss, gain...
- a daughter who wants to play with me
- brothers who make me laugh from a million miles away
- the internet which allows me to see my friend's baby laugh. In Turkey.
- a pastor who brings me closer into the fold with his passionate example, humor, and open arms
- amazing colleagues at work
- my wonderful friends who all seemed to scetter - job wise - to the wind this year, but remain people who make me laugh... and who owe me an happy hour! (Hint, hint)
- two kittens who allow my 5-year old to dress them up and drag them around.
- a good job and a steady income
- a husband with goals and dreams that are big enough to share
- cousins I have not seen in years who open their arms to say, "What years?"
So, here we go again
- a husband who thinks I am beautiful through the weight loss, gain, loss, gain...
- a daughter who wants to play with me
- brothers who make me laugh from a million miles away
- the internet which allows me to see my friend's baby laugh. In Turkey.
- a pastor who brings me closer into the fold with his passionate example, humor, and open arms
- amazing colleagues at work
- my wonderful friends who all seemed to scetter - job wise - to the wind this year, but remain people who make me laugh... and who owe me an happy hour! (Hint, hint)
- two kittens who allow my 5-year old to dress them up and drag them around.
- a good job and a steady income
- a husband with goals and dreams that are big enough to share
- cousins I have not seen in years who open their arms to say, "What years?"
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