Spoiler alert: make sure no one under their teen years is reading over your shoulder
Updates of the last few months? Nah, I will just go with what is in my heart and on my mind, so prepare for the random.
- I rest my hands on my 40 week pregnant belly as I write and cherish the last few day or hours of protecting and growing my 3rd baby under my heart, within my own body, as I feel her stretch and roll.
-I cherish watching my oldest grow in her independence as she starts 3rd grade... How could that be already??
- Our 2nd child is going to struggle with new baby. She is blossoming in her language and independence. She may be the Tomboy Daddy hopes for. She is also amazingly empathetic, patting my check and asking if I am ok.
My big asked me flat out for the truth about Christmas presents and Easter eggs. My heart broke as I dodged the question. I was not ready. I talked with the daddy late that night about how to handle this. I won't lie to my children. She asked SPECIFICALLY for me to tell the truth, as her friends at school were talking about it... We didn't think "what do you think" would cut it this time. I didn't want her to be humiliated in front of her friends if she insisted, and then found out she was wrong. So, when we were alone, I brought it up, tried not to panic (or cry) and told her the truth. She was quiet. And a little sad, I think. I swore her into the Helpers club, made her raise her right hand and made her a full- fledged member of the helpers, and to keeping the secret - she promised never to tell the truth to anyone but her own children when she was the mommy - not sisters, cousins, friends. We even rehearsed appropriate responses if one of them asks her. She asked who else was in the club, And I said, you never know, so you can't talk about it... But told her mommy and daddy for sure... So she asked how I found out... And told her my mom was in the club too. So, we pulled into the drive, got out with both our hearts a little broken, but proud of my growing-up girl. And she rushed in to pull her dad aside to tell him she was in the club, while I pulled grandma aside to warn her...
We discussed that she learned three things:
1. the answer to her question
2. That I will always tell her the truth
3. That you be sure you want the answer before you ask the question. She kinda laughed... And said "I am so not asking about the tooth fairy for a few years!"
The timing - my big is maturing so quickly as my littlest is waiting to be born...Sigh.
Love,
Me
August 11, 2012
March 8, 2012
I havent posted in a while... And this post is more of a promise to myself to find some time soon- however with masters courses and end of year Evals fast approaching, time is at a premium around here. Not to mention I tired all the time and chasing 2 active kids all the time! But my girls are going through do many changes I and it is on myind to chronicle them here!
Lots of love to all in the meantime -- see you real soon
Lots of love to all in the meantime -- see you real soon
December 19, 2011
All my bags are packed, I am leaving (tomorrow)
We are headed to the Giant Sequoias in California. Which is not the same as the Giant Redwoods - although they are redwoods...??? Whatever, on is in Northern Cali, the one we are headed for is in central eastern Cali and has the biggest tree in the world. Which is older than Jesus. Literally. Lil A's mouth dropped when she figured that out!! My dad and stepmother are here and rented the biggest Suv I have ever seen and we are off in the morning! Today has been a fury of errands and packing, but for the first, and perhaps only, time ever, the Daddy was ready well before the deadline. Go Grandpa! The pressure is subtle, but there. (He is also who got Andy to the Chruch on time, but that is another story).
It is only a 9 hr drive, but with the (almost!) 10 month old, we are wary of the trip, so we are planning on 2 days of driving each way, with a fun, relaxing hotel-pool adventure each evening... So I was tasked with figuring out a fun place to stop on the way home, and as I looked at a map, noticed our route takes us right past Anaheim.... so... made a few phone calls, and YES! we are surprising the littles with a trip to Disney! Well, Alex anyway, since Tori won't actually care! We got SMOKING prices on a 3 day park-hopper pass at the base -- Disney is very military friendly - so yay! A fun nature trip, right up the Daddy's alley, and a fun Disney trip for the kids - and my dad is here. I am one happy girl!
October 16, 2011
crazy busy
Life is crazy. With the Daddy on an extended out-of-town trip life always gets more interesting. All of my own work has to happen after bedtime for the kids. Add to that a suspended (major) landscaping project waiting for his return - and limiting backyard play... just consider the normal chaos of a toddler and a 7 year old...both of whom are sick. The grading period just ended and parent teacher conferences are this week... Midterms mean adding 2 research papers to the normal graduate class workload. A student teacher means my responsibility at work changes, just when I felt I was finally in a groove. I know this too shall pass... but right now, with zero time for myself, I just keeping chipping away at the work and have faith that somehow it will all work out...
October 9, 2011
fall on the surface of the sun
As the temperatures dip toward the seventies and we live with the doors and windows open, as I hear the voices cheering for favorite football teams in the next room, the pumpkins grow (dangerously slowly) on the vine... As lil A plays outside every available minute and the pistache tree turns a beautiful red... as I stop dreading turning on the oven and actually enjoy baking in the morning, and enjoy the side benefit of taking the nip out of the air in the house...and because our garden season is opposite most of the civilised world, my flowers bloom and flourish...
I love the fall.
I love the fall.
July 15, 2011
the blogger
It makes me smile to see others post about being in a slump when it comes to the blog. I relate! It is amazing how many times I sit down to write, but can't think of anything witty or clever to say. And then I remember I am not here to entertain, but to have some record of who I am. I want to be able to look back at the record of my life and loves, and there are melancholy days that I sit with tears running down my face as I alternately laugh and cry at what I read about me.
I am in process of... what? I am not sure today, but I am definitely in process. I am working on me and there are moments of petty that I am not proud of, so that is my current work. How do I adjust so that not only does the petty not erupt out of my mouth, but also so that the petty stays out of my head? There are people and situations that just make me want to send a snide text or email ot wall post in response to anything they put out there. It is awful and it is shameful. So, that is my shameful little secret for today, and I hope you are all shocked that it could be true, but it is. I can be extremely petty. There you have it.
****
While I am on the subject, I ought to spill my other secrets:
1. I pour out the left over coffee and then pretend ignorance. He likes to brew a full pot and if he does not drink it all today, will reheat it tomorrow. Gross. I dump it more often than I admit.
2. I let my child watch way too much TV
3. I resent having to pay the bills, but do not trust him to do it right. (That is, my way).
4. I signed up for mommy-and-me swim lessons because it was too hot on the side of the pool for Tori. But also for me. At least 50% for me.
5. I blame my husband for the untidiness of the house. But as I look around, a lot of the stacks are mine.
6. I don't like anyone to touch me when it is above 100 degrees. Seriously. Anyone. I suck it up and try not to let them know, but this Arizona mama and wife is sometimes gritting her teeth. Seriously, it is 115 degress outside and you want to sit RIGHT NEXT TO ME??? There is a chair over there, you know... I changed that. It originally said 90. Ok, I am lying. It said 80. But 100 sounds nicer, or at least less mean, right?
7. But my deepest darkest secret (that I am willing to divulge right now): Sometimes I sneak out at night for ice cream. In fact, I think I might in just a few minutes.
Shhh. Don't tell.
love
me
I am in process of... what? I am not sure today, but I am definitely in process. I am working on me and there are moments of petty that I am not proud of, so that is my current work. How do I adjust so that not only does the petty not erupt out of my mouth, but also so that the petty stays out of my head? There are people and situations that just make me want to send a snide text or email ot wall post in response to anything they put out there. It is awful and it is shameful. So, that is my shameful little secret for today, and I hope you are all shocked that it could be true, but it is. I can be extremely petty. There you have it.
****
While I am on the subject, I ought to spill my other secrets:
1. I pour out the left over coffee and then pretend ignorance. He likes to brew a full pot and if he does not drink it all today, will reheat it tomorrow. Gross. I dump it more often than I admit.
2. I let my child watch way too much TV
3. I resent having to pay the bills, but do not trust him to do it right. (That is, my way).
4. I signed up for mommy-and-me swim lessons because it was too hot on the side of the pool for Tori. But also for me. At least 50% for me.
5. I blame my husband for the untidiness of the house. But as I look around, a lot of the stacks are mine.
6. I don't like anyone to touch me when it is above 100 degrees. Seriously. Anyone. I suck it up and try not to let them know, but this Arizona mama and wife is sometimes gritting her teeth. Seriously, it is 115 degress outside and you want to sit RIGHT NEXT TO ME??? There is a chair over there, you know... I changed that. It originally said 90. Ok, I am lying. It said 80. But 100 sounds nicer, or at least less mean, right?
7. But my deepest darkest secret (that I am willing to divulge right now): Sometimes I sneak out at night for ice cream. In fact, I think I might in just a few minutes.
Shhh. Don't tell.
love
me
June 27, 2011
the small things
- the quick grin on the baby's face when I come to pick her up when she awakens
- the way she stops crying when I call, "I hear you, here I come!"
- when my husband gets a gentle grin and says, "You are the best kisser!"
- the way the big girl wants so much to be older: "Mom, do I look like a teenager?" (Heaven help me!)
- daddy-daughter days-out
- midnight walks (in the back yard)
- friends that have stood the test of time and distance
- the sound of laughter as my daughter plays with cousins she barely knows - but they are instant "BFFs" anyway
- the confidence of my little superstar as she asks, "Can I be the radio tonight?"
May 16, 2011
May 6, 2011
A strike of sorts
Walked in the house yesterday. Which smelled like something died in it. I dropped my purse, put down the baby and headed for the kitchen. I took out the trash immediately, but that was not it. No, it was the science project that in your home, is more commonly known as the kitchen sink. In my home, it is a battle ground. Not that I realized this at the time, but you will understand if you read on.
I Was Furious. Did he really not know the house smelled that bad?
(Yes)
Did he not care?
(Yes, he did)
Why did he not wash the dishes?
(Because I needed to learn something)
EXCUSE ME?
Yes, that is right. The dishes were not done, because then there would just be more.
Welcome to adulthood, friend.
But, wait! there is more!
If he did the dishes, then I would never learn how many dishes lil A and I use in a day.
PARDON ME, CARE TO REPHRASE?
Really? You were schooling me?? You thought you needed to teach me a lesson instead of having an adult conversation with me? I think my head actually did explode at that point. I am positive Alex took one look at me and backed out of the room. Did he notice? Oh, no, he kept doggedly on and took the opportunity to share with me my inadequacies as a disciplinarian. (Which is apparently somehow related to how many dishes darling daughter is allowed to dirty in one day).
Thank you dear. The job is all yours. For one week, you get to do it all. "Ask your dad" is my new refrain. This particular deal, which he seemed so smug about at first, comes complete with the before-school battles over getting up and dressed, what to eat, what goes in lunches, getting out the door on time (AKA, Hell-hour at our house). Solo-parenting also comes with being in charge of enforcing chores, meals, snacks (or not) and the accompany refusals, tantrums, and so on... We are on the end of the first complete day. She, in beautiful justice, was in her most stubborn glory today. There were plenty of opportunities to try out Daddy's Ideal Discipline (Which Is Much Better Than Mommy's Method) Routine.
I promised my support (after an extensive shop-therapy poor-me party resulting in 4 new outfits and a garden tiller) as well as my non-direct involvement - by which I meant, I would respond to any direct request he made for my input (which happened at 6:34 AM, much to my smug surprise... I never said I was not hoping he would have to admit he needed my help), but would not interfere or undermine any decision he made. (Which he says I do, in addition to being too easy on my child and not consistant enough.
So, the week begins. Either she shapes up and he is right (in which case, we all win) or nothing really changes, in which case I am not wrong --- this deal is a win-win for me.
So here we are. And I am on a mini strike. No disciplining for me this week. I may just sit back with a glass of wine and watch.
I Was Furious. Did he really not know the house smelled that bad?
(Yes)
Did he not care?
(Yes, he did)
Why did he not wash the dishes?
(Because I needed to learn something)
EXCUSE ME?
Yes, that is right. The dishes were not done, because then there would just be more.
Welcome to adulthood, friend.
But, wait! there is more!
If he did the dishes, then I would never learn how many dishes lil A and I use in a day.
PARDON ME, CARE TO REPHRASE?
Really? You were schooling me?? You thought you needed to teach me a lesson instead of having an adult conversation with me? I think my head actually did explode at that point. I am positive Alex took one look at me and backed out of the room. Did he notice? Oh, no, he kept doggedly on and took the opportunity to share with me my inadequacies as a disciplinarian. (Which is apparently somehow related to how many dishes darling daughter is allowed to dirty in one day).
Thank you dear. The job is all yours. For one week, you get to do it all. "Ask your dad" is my new refrain. This particular deal, which he seemed so smug about at first, comes complete with the before-school battles over getting up and dressed, what to eat, what goes in lunches, getting out the door on time (AKA, Hell-hour at our house). Solo-parenting also comes with being in charge of enforcing chores, meals, snacks (or not) and the accompany refusals, tantrums, and so on... We are on the end of the first complete day. She, in beautiful justice, was in her most stubborn glory today. There were plenty of opportunities to try out Daddy's Ideal Discipline (Which Is Much Better Than Mommy's Method) Routine.
I promised my support (after an extensive shop-therapy poor-me party resulting in 4 new outfits and a garden tiller) as well as my non-direct involvement - by which I meant, I would respond to any direct request he made for my input (which happened at 6:34 AM, much to my smug surprise... I never said I was not hoping he would have to admit he needed my help), but would not interfere or undermine any decision he made. (Which he says I do, in addition to being too easy on my child and not consistant enough.
So, the week begins. Either she shapes up and he is right (in which case, we all win) or nothing really changes, in which case I am not wrong --- this deal is a win-win for me.
So here we are. And I am on a mini strike. No disciplining for me this week. I may just sit back with a glass of wine and watch.
April 26, 2011
i would post some pictures
but I am really kind of a tease.... j/k. Actually I am on Andy's laptop since my computer is making me CRAZY. I may be getting a laptop for a belated bday/mothers day gift. If I hinted well enough. We shall see.
Life has been insane, but in review:
Alex's 7th birthday was a hoot. She is so proud to be 7! We had a family party at her favorite restuarant, a tradition since 2006... we also planned a birthday party at the drive-in only to be rained out! Unbelievable! So we rescheduled and had a grand old time the following weekend, minus a few friends who could not make the change work. However, we went out on the original party date for my birthday instead, and let Alex choose a friend to come as a consolation. We went to a teppanyaki place and it was wonderful! When I get back on the other computer, I will add some pictures.
Yep, I turned another year older myself. Funny, everytime someone asked me last year how old I was, I mistakenly told them 37. I was lying. Not on purpose, mind you. But now I really am, so it was like not even getting older at all!
I finished a major project at work and will get paid less next year to do more work as a result! Go teaching in this crazy day and age! However, there are only 18 day s of school left, so that is pretty much awesome.
Planning some trips - one home to see my nephew who, is like - 5. And graduating from high school. How can it be? and maybe to see some family up north if schedules work out. Who wants some houseguests? and then Andy is off for a month of classes out of state. We may go too, for at least part. It is only money, right? Then my dad and stepmother are coming to town and taking us to see the giant sequoia trees, which I thought was the redforest forest but apparently I should stop teaching science. at least the trees part. :) And then school starts up again. Sigh.
And I am not pregnant. Whatever. HAHA. That made you blink twice. But it would be ok if I was... We have been having all these conversations lately about names and bunkbeds... and I almost bought 4 coordinating easter baskets just so I would have them. But I resisted the temptation. aren't you proud?
we emptied out S's storage unit and that was the last chore to be done. But now my living room is wall to wall furniture - a buffet that he had his aquariums on, 2 dressers, one made by Andy's grandfather, and well, you know that red lazyboy has not made it to the goodwill store yet. My husband, the saver. Oh well, eventually I will have a useable space... but not today.
we both went on a diet. Any has lost all but 5 pounds of his goal in 2 months. I have lost 10 and gained 3 back. seriously. grrrrrrrrrrrr. I may get the surgery at some point, but it scares me to do before I am done having babies. And as previously mentioned, I am not done. And then my excuse will be that I will have no elective surgerys until my children are grown... then I will ahve grandchildren. SWEET! the excuses are all lined up. Back to counting points!
Life has been insane, but in review:
Alex's 7th birthday was a hoot. She is so proud to be 7! We had a family party at her favorite restuarant, a tradition since 2006... we also planned a birthday party at the drive-in only to be rained out! Unbelievable! So we rescheduled and had a grand old time the following weekend, minus a few friends who could not make the change work. However, we went out on the original party date for my birthday instead, and let Alex choose a friend to come as a consolation. We went to a teppanyaki place and it was wonderful! When I get back on the other computer, I will add some pictures.
Yep, I turned another year older myself. Funny, everytime someone asked me last year how old I was, I mistakenly told them 37. I was lying. Not on purpose, mind you. But now I really am, so it was like not even getting older at all!
I finished a major project at work and will get paid less next year to do more work as a result! Go teaching in this crazy day and age! However, there are only 18 day s of school left, so that is pretty much awesome.
Planning some trips - one home to see my nephew who, is like - 5. And graduating from high school. How can it be? and maybe to see some family up north if schedules work out. Who wants some houseguests? and then Andy is off for a month of classes out of state. We may go too, for at least part. It is only money, right? Then my dad and stepmother are coming to town and taking us to see the giant sequoia trees, which I thought was the redforest forest but apparently I should stop teaching science. at least the trees part. :) And then school starts up again. Sigh.
And I am not pregnant. Whatever. HAHA. That made you blink twice. But it would be ok if I was... We have been having all these conversations lately about names and bunkbeds... and I almost bought 4 coordinating easter baskets just so I would have them. But I resisted the temptation. aren't you proud?
we emptied out S's storage unit and that was the last chore to be done. But now my living room is wall to wall furniture - a buffet that he had his aquariums on, 2 dressers, one made by Andy's grandfather, and well, you know that red lazyboy has not made it to the goodwill store yet. My husband, the saver. Oh well, eventually I will have a useable space... but not today.
we both went on a diet. Any has lost all but 5 pounds of his goal in 2 months. I have lost 10 and gained 3 back. seriously. grrrrrrrrrrrr. I may get the surgery at some point, but it scares me to do before I am done having babies. And as previously mentioned, I am not done. And then my excuse will be that I will have no elective surgerys until my children are grown... then I will ahve grandchildren. SWEET! the excuses are all lined up. Back to counting points!
April 8, 2011
My baby
No, not this one. She is pretty new still. We are still getting to know this one.
I am talking about this one.
The one who made us parents.
Tee hee hee.
Dearest A,
My love
My sensitive
brilliant
talented
confident
show-woman.
My singer
dancer
actor.
My helper
My cuddler
My animal lover
My nature girl
My passionate
compassionate
darling
daughter.
You are 7.
Where did the years go?
You are so big.
So bold.
Already bursting to grow up.
But still needing a bandaid
on every bruise and bump.
You are independent.
And still need me.
You still want your friends to see you
hug me.
It won't last.
So I drink in the moments.
I savor your kisses,
your tantrums
your apologies
your raised eyebrows.
Your jokes.
Your notes.
Your stories.
Your love.
Your childhood.
I was blessed the day I found out you existed, and I have been more blessed every day since.
My daughter, I love you more than life.
I love
You.
March 26, 2011
really, i love my life
that being said...
HOLY COW my life has been busy lately.
Tori is turning 6 months already this week! Where did that time go??? She is about ready to crawl, and I swear she said MAMA today. I know it is just the sounds she was making, but I got all excited. God bless my husband for just sitting back with a smile on his face.
Speaking of the Daddy, we are both dieting. Rather, he is dieting and I am making a "life-style change." It sure feels like a diet though. I am a yo-yo "life-style changer" but this time, I am feeling good about it. I have two precious daughters that need a mama that is healthy and full of energy. I am having a hard time balancing the amount of calories I need to continue making sufficient milk for my nursing baby and still losing weight, but I am getting there. (It helps that she is only half nursing now, as she also tucks away 3 jars of babyfood a day now!) But I noticed a new pattern to my grocery shopping. I have not hit those middle-packaged-food aisles in a month, and I am down 10 pounds. (He is down almost 25. He is such a...a.... MAN! grrrr). We have started taking advantage of BountifulBaskets.org and my fridge has never been so green. And since I have it, I can't let it go to waste! I also have learned that mangos and asparagus are delicious. Who knew??? (HAHA that is the title!). If there is a Bountiful Baskets site near you, you should give this a try! I have so much produce that I have started making my own babyfood. Yeah, I am turning into that mom. (Not).
The big girl is "Student of the Month," so nominated by her gifted class teacher for her generosity of spirit and kindness. Yeah, this mama may just burst with pride. She doesn't know it yet.
She wrote a letter to her grandpa tonight that looks like a 10 year old wrote it. I honestly thought she had a paper written by someone else that she was pretending was her own until I looked closely. Yeah, there is that pride thing again.
I have a heart full tonight and I almost burst with the love for my family. There are times I am so full of them that I feel I may burst into tears. I don't know if other wives worry if they are good enough for their husbands, if they show them enough love, but I do. Or if other mothers wonder if the love they shower on thier children is enough to see those children through the hard times, or if their hearts break just a little as their children grow - that burst of pride coincides relatively often with a little break in my heart... but I do worry and wonder. I am so full. My life is so rich.
I am so blessed. I hope you feel blessed tonight too.
With love and gratitude
CC
HOLY COW my life has been busy lately.
Tori is turning 6 months already this week! Where did that time go??? She is about ready to crawl, and I swear she said MAMA today. I know it is just the sounds she was making, but I got all excited. God bless my husband for just sitting back with a smile on his face.
Speaking of the Daddy, we are both dieting. Rather, he is dieting and I am making a "life-style change." It sure feels like a diet though. I am a yo-yo "life-style changer" but this time, I am feeling good about it. I have two precious daughters that need a mama that is healthy and full of energy. I am having a hard time balancing the amount of calories I need to continue making sufficient milk for my nursing baby and still losing weight, but I am getting there. (It helps that she is only half nursing now, as she also tucks away 3 jars of babyfood a day now!) But I noticed a new pattern to my grocery shopping. I have not hit those middle-packaged-food aisles in a month, and I am down 10 pounds. (He is down almost 25. He is such a...a.... MAN! grrrr). We have started taking advantage of BountifulBaskets.org and my fridge has never been so green. And since I have it, I can't let it go to waste! I also have learned that mangos and asparagus are delicious. Who knew??? (HAHA that is the title!). If there is a Bountiful Baskets site near you, you should give this a try! I have so much produce that I have started making my own babyfood. Yeah, I am turning into that mom. (Not).
The big girl is "Student of the Month," so nominated by her gifted class teacher for her generosity of spirit and kindness. Yeah, this mama may just burst with pride. She doesn't know it yet.
She wrote a letter to her grandpa tonight that looks like a 10 year old wrote it. I honestly thought she had a paper written by someone else that she was pretending was her own until I looked closely. Yeah, there is that pride thing again.
I have a heart full tonight and I almost burst with the love for my family. There are times I am so full of them that I feel I may burst into tears. I don't know if other wives worry if they are good enough for their husbands, if they show them enough love, but I do. Or if other mothers wonder if the love they shower on thier children is enough to see those children through the hard times, or if their hearts break just a little as their children grow - that burst of pride coincides relatively often with a little break in my heart... but I do worry and wonder. I am so full. My life is so rich.
I am so blessed. I hope you feel blessed tonight too.
With love and gratitude
CC
March 14, 2011
Random snapshots of my life
What the drier look like with 2 little girls
I love legwarmers.
Sisters
Christmas morning aka
"Waiting for Daniel"
Awwwww.
Double Awwwwww
That is a lot of pink...
Daddy-Daughter date. They were the best dressed ones at the dance!
March 13, 2011
Wow, the time -how it flies
Dear Two-Years-Ago Me,
Tomorrow is your wedding day. You have waited and hoped for so long, so relax. The day will be perfect. When you look back and remember exhaustion and frustrations that everything was not perfect the day before the wedding, the wedding day was amazing. Do not confuse the two.
From Andy waking you at 5 to cut his hair, to getting to the salon before your eyes are all the way open, to the joy of watching Alex get ready, so full of pride in her 4 year old self... to dressing at church surrounded by love... to the relaxing of your heart when you hear Andy is ready to see you... to seeing his face light up as you step into the hall. Watching family arrive and ohh and ah over the two of you, preparing to celebrate with you. Your bouquet will weigh one million pounds, so be prepared now. And the fishnet stockings Andy requested, forget it. They will make your feet hurt before the service even starts, so don't bother. He won't even remember.
Alex won't stand still for pictures. It will be ok. The ones she is in turn out perfect, so just let her be.
The moment of joy walking down the aisle, your father on one side and your mother on the other, a symbol of your life that only half of the room understands... the moment Andy takes your hand... Pastor Mark singing the "Our Father"... or making a joke about the ring...
The groomsmen stalling the reception so they could make a liquor run. They will think you don't know, so pretend you never figure it out. And Chris and Bea arriving after the reception was half over - that will make for life-long jokes when you get together. So what that they flew all the way in from Florida. That is what will make it so funny.
The wedding dance..."If I were you"... the smiles and laughter, the tears of joy. Dancing with your father... only a few people knew just how much that really meant...
Tammie and Katie insisting on a private moment. In the bathroom.
The standing ovation as you walk into the after party at the local pub with a few of our closest friends, and the Marines on leave will buy you round after round - men you don't even know honoring their brother in uniform. And how handsome he will look. So perfect.
Try to catch a short nap while you wait for the after-after party - and don't let Bill set the house on fire. He will try, but don't even let that phase you. Just enjoy the celebration of love surrounded by loved ones.
When you look back, it will be a blur of smiling faces and laughable moments.
Celebrate your love. That is all that matters.
Love,
Me, on the eve of our second anniversary
Tomorrow is your wedding day. You have waited and hoped for so long, so relax. The day will be perfect. When you look back and remember exhaustion and frustrations that everything was not perfect the day before the wedding, the wedding day was amazing. Do not confuse the two.
From Andy waking you at 5 to cut his hair, to getting to the salon before your eyes are all the way open, to the joy of watching Alex get ready, so full of pride in her 4 year old self... to dressing at church surrounded by love... to the relaxing of your heart when you hear Andy is ready to see you... to seeing his face light up as you step into the hall. Watching family arrive and ohh and ah over the two of you, preparing to celebrate with you. Your bouquet will weigh one million pounds, so be prepared now. And the fishnet stockings Andy requested, forget it. They will make your feet hurt before the service even starts, so don't bother. He won't even remember.
Alex won't stand still for pictures. It will be ok. The ones she is in turn out perfect, so just let her be.
The moment of joy walking down the aisle, your father on one side and your mother on the other, a symbol of your life that only half of the room understands... the moment Andy takes your hand... Pastor Mark singing the "Our Father"... or making a joke about the ring...
The groomsmen stalling the reception so they could make a liquor run. They will think you don't know, so pretend you never figure it out. And Chris and Bea arriving after the reception was half over - that will make for life-long jokes when you get together. So what that they flew all the way in from Florida. That is what will make it so funny.
The wedding dance..."If I were you"... the smiles and laughter, the tears of joy. Dancing with your father... only a few people knew just how much that really meant...
Tammie and Katie insisting on a private moment. In the bathroom.
The standing ovation as you walk into the after party at the local pub with a few of our closest friends, and the Marines on leave will buy you round after round - men you don't even know honoring their brother in uniform. And how handsome he will look. So perfect.
Try to catch a short nap while you wait for the after-after party - and don't let Bill set the house on fire. He will try, but don't even let that phase you. Just enjoy the celebration of love surrounded by loved ones.
When you look back, it will be a blur of smiling faces and laughable moments.
Celebrate your love. That is all that matters.
Love,
Me, on the eve of our second anniversary
February 15, 2011
really!
The plan was simple. Get the Daddy out of the house for some much needed grown-up time with his friends. The perfect opportunity arose, a camping trip. Well. Then parent-teacher conferences cropped up, and even with an extraordinarily helpful baby sitter and a friend willing to pinch hit, we cannot make the whole week work! Poor Daddy! So, he is home tonight to gather more things he needs, and I am afraid he will not be able to rejoin his friends until Friday afternoon!
Sigh.
The best laid plans...
Sigh.
The best laid plans...
February 12, 2011
it is late
it is late
and the house is quiet
the Daddy snores softly
cuddling the baby
while in the next bed
the girl restlessly kicks the covers off,
two kitties curled at her feet
in sleep
as they never would be awake
the house settles
cars are moving slowly
on the distant highway
as orion rotates slowly overhead
it is late
the house is quiet
my heart is full
my mind settles
as i too crawl into bed
and rest my weary soul
and the house is quiet
the Daddy snores softly
cuddling the baby
while in the next bed
the girl restlessly kicks the covers off,
two kitties curled at her feet
in sleep
as they never would be awake
the house settles
cars are moving slowly
on the distant highway
as orion rotates slowly overhead
it is late
the house is quiet
my heart is full
my mind settles
as i too crawl into bed
and rest my weary soul
February 4, 2011
too long
It has been a while since I posted and to be honest, I am crazy busy and not much funny or exciting or even particularly interesting has happened to me. Not real sure why I am posting. Nor why you are reading, but then again, I am glad you are.
To get you up to speed...
We drove our babies, ages 6 and 3 months to Colorado. 18 hours there, 22 back. Don't ask why if snow makes you anxious. No problems, either way, and amazing kids tolerating that drive. Amazing husband drove all but 2 hours of the total round trip. I was sick all the way home. Not that he would have let me drive in the snow anyway. Even though I grew up driving in the snow. It is a control thing, and it is OK with me.
Back to work full time. Miss my baby. But the sitter ROCKS. She brings her to me to be fed during my break, and again after school if I need to stay late. The baby fix helps the mama through the day.
Speaking of work, my boss and I had a chat today and she told me she wished all her teachers were like me. That was nice to hear!!
My husband is a full-time student again, and I am so glad for him. About time Uncle Sam coughed up the GI benefits we've been trying to get for almost 2 years now.
Speaking of school, I am also a student again, taking 2 courses and generally going insane. But it is not as bad as I thought it would be and at the and of week 3, think 13 more is going to be ok.
The big girl is awesome. She is reading chapter books, after some struggles learning to read. She has always done things in her own sweet time, with no way to force that time to come sooner...and this is no exception.
The baby is also amazing. Starting to eat baby food. She rarely cries and almost never fusses. She is full of smiles and giggles. So we knew, last week, something was WRONG when she kept waking up crying. Took her to the doctor and was diagnosed with a yeast infection (not on her bottom - although she used the same diapers as our niece - and also had the rash, but she grew out of the Swaddlers so fast, we switched brands at the same time, and it went away... hmmmm) but rather on her neck. A few days later is was even worse and it turns out she had a strep bacterial infection under her neck! The two together (strep and yeast) is so rare, doc had several others come in to look at it. But, a few days later, and some good antibiotic creams, and she is much better!
So, work, good. Kids, good. Husband, good. School, good. Life is GOOD. :)
To get you up to speed...
We drove our babies, ages 6 and 3 months to Colorado. 18 hours there, 22 back. Don't ask why if snow makes you anxious. No problems, either way, and amazing kids tolerating that drive. Amazing husband drove all but 2 hours of the total round trip. I was sick all the way home. Not that he would have let me drive in the snow anyway. Even though I grew up driving in the snow. It is a control thing, and it is OK with me.
Back to work full time. Miss my baby. But the sitter ROCKS. She brings her to me to be fed during my break, and again after school if I need to stay late. The baby fix helps the mama through the day.
Speaking of work, my boss and I had a chat today and she told me she wished all her teachers were like me. That was nice to hear!!
My husband is a full-time student again, and I am so glad for him. About time Uncle Sam coughed up the GI benefits we've been trying to get for almost 2 years now.
Speaking of school, I am also a student again, taking 2 courses and generally going insane. But it is not as bad as I thought it would be and at the and of week 3, think 13 more is going to be ok.
The big girl is awesome. She is reading chapter books, after some struggles learning to read. She has always done things in her own sweet time, with no way to force that time to come sooner...and this is no exception.
The baby is also amazing. Starting to eat baby food. She rarely cries and almost never fusses. She is full of smiles and giggles. So we knew, last week, something was WRONG when she kept waking up crying. Took her to the doctor and was diagnosed with a yeast infection (not on her bottom - although she used the same diapers as our niece - and also had the rash, but she grew out of the Swaddlers so fast, we switched brands at the same time, and it went away... hmmmm) but rather on her neck. A few days later is was even worse and it turns out she had a strep bacterial infection under her neck! The two together (strep and yeast) is so rare, doc had several others come in to look at it. But, a few days later, and some good antibiotic creams, and she is much better!
So, work, good. Kids, good. Husband, good. School, good. Life is GOOD. :)
January 8, 2011
Dear Blog, I have abandoned you
It is not intentional, but I have not had anything compelling to day lately. Not that that ever stopped me before...
So here is a down-and-dirty update:
Our trip to CO was great. We even survived the snowy ride home. Both kids did great in the car. And the Daddy was amazing patient and tolerant. We loved seeing our family and really felt like we got some quality time in with as many people as possible.
I am back to work; the baby still won't eat for anyone but me, so the babysitter brings her to me twice a day to eat. Now that is a GOOD babysitter. We are starting some baby food to see if she will eat it and if she will eat it for the sitter so she does not starve (or at least think she is starving) if I am not available to feed her.
Christmas in general was amazing. Packaged for my kids continue to arrive every few days, and the generosity of our family and friends is overwhelming!
We are trying to savor every minute of our experiences this year, knowing that next year at this time we will be firmly into a deployment life-style.
We are looking forward to a brief visit from my aunt in about a month, and the Daddy has a week-long camping-trip planned with some of his friends next month... Ew, February. I am happy to opt out, maybe just day-tripping to see him one day. After all that, it will be time to start thinking of Easter and Seven-year old birthdays and 37-year old birthdays...and time to start planning summer trips, maybe a 2-stop to the east coast and one up north again...
I start classes next week - the next 2 of the seven I need to finish my MaEd. Oddly not excited. I have always liked school, but am more than a little in overwhelm mode right now.
So here is a down-and-dirty update:
Our trip to CO was great. We even survived the snowy ride home. Both kids did great in the car. And the Daddy was amazing patient and tolerant. We loved seeing our family and really felt like we got some quality time in with as many people as possible.
I am back to work; the baby still won't eat for anyone but me, so the babysitter brings her to me twice a day to eat. Now that is a GOOD babysitter. We are starting some baby food to see if she will eat it and if she will eat it for the sitter so she does not starve (or at least think she is starving) if I am not available to feed her.
Christmas in general was amazing. Packaged for my kids continue to arrive every few days, and the generosity of our family and friends is overwhelming!
We are trying to savor every minute of our experiences this year, knowing that next year at this time we will be firmly into a deployment life-style.
We are looking forward to a brief visit from my aunt in about a month, and the Daddy has a week-long camping-trip planned with some of his friends next month... Ew, February. I am happy to opt out, maybe just day-tripping to see him one day. After all that, it will be time to start thinking of Easter and Seven-year old birthdays and 37-year old birthdays...and time to start planning summer trips, maybe a 2-stop to the east coast and one up north again...
I start classes next week - the next 2 of the seven I need to finish my MaEd. Oddly not excited. I have always liked school, but am more than a little in overwhelm mode right now.
December 13, 2010
For T (the one who can read)
Sweets, if you are reading this, yes, I mean you.
I have a friend. No, more than a friend. I would call her a sister, but for reason best left unsaid, I will not. But she will laugh at that sentence. I know she will.
She is an amazing woman. We shared so much in high school, spent every waking moment together, or talking to each other, or writing each other notes. (I still have them, T). She has such a beautiful soul, and always has.
She stood with me for my wedding, although to my everlasting regret, there is not one picture of just the two of us from that day. She had to ride an airplane for the first time ever, just for me. :)
She has stood by me through thick and thin for over 20 years now. Although there have been (too) long periods of time when, for one reason or another, one of us has been less available than we'd both like, more importantly, I know with out the shadow of a doubt that if I asked her to, she'd come running (flying!).
Tammie, I love you dearly and miss you somethin' awful.
:)
(Did that make you want to visit??)
Oh-oh uh-oh-oh. Oh-Oh uh-Oh.
hahahaha
I have a friend. No, more than a friend. I would call her a sister, but for reason best left unsaid, I will not. But she will laugh at that sentence. I know she will.
She is an amazing woman. We shared so much in high school, spent every waking moment together, or talking to each other, or writing each other notes. (I still have them, T). She has such a beautiful soul, and always has.
She stood with me for my wedding, although to my everlasting regret, there is not one picture of just the two of us from that day. She had to ride an airplane for the first time ever, just for me. :)
She has stood by me through thick and thin for over 20 years now. Although there have been (too) long periods of time when, for one reason or another, one of us has been less available than we'd both like, more importantly, I know with out the shadow of a doubt that if I asked her to, she'd come running (flying!).
Tammie, I love you dearly and miss you somethin' awful.
:)
(Did that make you want to visit??)
Oh-oh uh-oh-oh. Oh-Oh uh-Oh.
hahahaha
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