Once trust is damaged, how you you get it back? This has been on my mind a lot lately. No, nothing new is going on with me, so don't worry. But as I think about a few of my friends going through difficult times, and I watch them struggle with this issue, I think of some of the struggles I have had with the same one. All of us, I think have struggled with this at one time or another.
The usual MO for the person feeling guilty is to lash out in anger. Here is the thing. Does that help? Has it ever? How does that "protect the ego," which the psych books say is the primary motivation for most people action, most of the time? All it does is perpetuate or worsen the problem. Why is it so damn hard for people to just say, This stinks, I messed up, I want to make it better? Why is it always about what the other person should do?
I am not a big MJ fan, but there is a song, The Man in the Mirror, the refrain of which I think is spot on:
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change, yey
Na na na, na na na, na na na na oh ho
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